Because I’m a coward, but God has given me grace to recognize courage in others and I desire it.
That’s one reason my second son is named Finneas after Phinehas from the Bible.
To dissect, discern and decide in the face of difficulty.
This is a trait I desire desperately.
(however, the pastoral gift of using repetitive letters in addressing people I’ve got down very well, thank you!)
A decision must be made at some point, and it’s no good waiting indefinitely for a sign from heaven that will solve the difficulty without further trouble. Even the ecumenical movement has to make up its mind and is therefore subject to error, like everything human.
But to procrastinate and prevaricate simply because you’re afraid of erring, when others — I mean our brethren in Germany — must make infinitely more difficult decisions every day, seems to me almost to run counter to love.
To delay or fail to make decisions may be more sinful than to make wrong decisions out of faith and love. (Eric Metaxas,Bonhoeffer, [Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2010], 2180)
The majority of my life could be defined under the term, “because you’re afraid of erring.”
By God’s grace, He is teaching me to be free to fail. Not because I want to or because I take “the right” decision less seriously, but because I take myself less seriously, His cross more seriously and the Gospel of grace to be sufficient to forgive me in my indecisiveness.
I still want to perform well.
But I’m less anxious about failure.
I want to make right decisions, but not at the expense of being indecisive.
Indecision can be sin.
For me it was.
Because it was cowardice.
It was a distrust of Grace.
Praise God for men who in humility decide and act at the expense of being abused for the sake of doing what seemed best according to the counsel they received, the gifts they had access to, the Spirit within to comfort, and the mind they had to discern.
May more men be like Bonhoeffer acting to God’s glory for our good in grace by faith living in obedience to that which is revealed in order to bravely venture into that which is uncertain.