"There is a kind of listening with half an ear that presumes already to know what the other person has to say. This impatient, inattentive listening really despises the other Christian and finally is only waiting to get a chance to speak and thus to get rid of the other. It should be no surprise that we are no longer able to perform the greatest service of listening that God has entrusted to us -- hearing the confession of another Christian --- if we refuse to lend our ear to another person on lesser subjects. The pagan world today knows something about persons who often can be helped only by having someone who will seriously listen to them. On this insight, it has built its own secular form of pastoral care, which has become popular with many people, including Christians. But Christians have forgotten that the ministry of listening has been entrusted to them by the one who is indeed the great listener and in whose work they are to participate. We should listen with the ears of God, so that we can speak the Word of God" - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
James commands us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Not never to speak or always to listen, but to be ready to listen and willing to hold our tongues until we have. If we want to speak words of life, we must often endure listening to their words of death.
Counseling is not an area of secular expertise. They do not have the answers, but they often offer their ears. And people will often settle for ears where there are no answers over answers where there are no ears.
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