day no. 17,043: when the wit comes too late

"This latter phenomenon is something the French have a phrase for—l’esprit de l’escalier. And please, for those of you who listen to my blog posts, pardon my French—which I accomplish by means of rusty hedge clippers. This refers to the “wit of the staircase,” and refers to things you think of later on that you should have said. The perfect point you ought to have made occurs to you, but it does so on the staircase, as you are making your way to bed. Oh well.” — Douglas Wilson, Smashmouth Compromise?

The wit of the staircase is that thing you think of in the shower the morning after the big fight. It is the perfect comeback that comes to you too late. It is brilliant and baffling. How could you not have thought of that before? And why think of it now? You cannot drop it now without bringing up old stuff and beside, the timing would be off. Zingers don't count after the bell. Ripostes are best as counter punches, not as a sucker punch a day later. You cannot pin someone after the match. I mean, you can, but it doesn't count as a win. Instead, it will only highlight the loss that took place on the mat.

Proverbs 17:28

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise:

and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

So, do not make a habit of rehashing the past. You cannot go back and say what you wish you would have said. That is, unless you are circling back to say, "I'm sorry." You will not improve your position by revisiting your response in order to edit it after the fact. You cannot look cool by circling back, but you can be humble in going back to say, "I'm sorry." If you find yourself in the shower thinking, "I was an idiot. I should have said, 'sorry,'" by all means, dry off and find that someone and say it. But if you find yourself replaying your previous loss in order to find a way to win it in retrospect, give it up and save your staircase wit for the next next engagement.