Thursday, August 21, 2014

day no. 13,086: what happens when agape and phileo get married?‏

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. (EPH 5)
What kind of love is that you ask?
Agape: the steadfast, never stopping, always, forever kind of love that is based on covenant and not on circumstances.
That is how husbands are called and commanded to love their wives.
Wives are called to love their husbands. (TITUS 2)
What kind of love is that you ask?
Phileo: the friendly, warm, helping, tender kind of love that experienced by besties.
That is how wives are called and commanded to love their husbands.
Men are called to lay down their lives and commit.
Women are called to orient their lives around helping their husbands in camaraderie.
That isn’t to say that men are not called to be friendly and warm with their wives or that women aren’t called to commit to and selflessly die to themselves in order to live for the well-being of their husbands.
Husbands and wives should both agape, phileo and eros each other.
But men are commanded to play the role of Savior to their wives. Not literally of course, only Jesus saves. But the role men are called upon to play in God’s production is Protector, Rock, Lead Servant, and Savior.
And women are commanded to play the role of helper, friend and companion. Not literally just a slave at the beck and call of their husband per se, but one who orients her life around helping him in his pursuits and making him feel safely loved as a friend who respects him. 
The role women are called to play in God’s production is Friend, Helper, Comforter and Counsellor.
Men often want to hang out and be buddies with their wives. That’s what men need.
Women often want to be wooed, pursued and romanced. That’s what women need.
If both spouses do what God is calling and commanding them to do, there will be no void or vacuum of needs going unmet.
Men need companionship, but more than that they need to extend loving kindness and adoration to their wives.
Women need romance, but more than that they need to extend friendship, fellowship and fun to their husbands.
Everyone gets what they want and need by dying to themselves and serving the other.
Too many husbands and wives respectively look outside of their homes for what they want and need rather than committing themselves to being what their spouse wants and needs.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
If husbands and wives embrace that, they will seek what their spouse needs rather than what they want and both will end up loved in the ways God commands and calls us to.

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