"What is the sign of a friend? Is it
that he tells you his secret sorrows? No, it is that he tells you his secret
joys. Many people will confide their secret sorrows to you, but the final mark
of intimacy is when they share their secret joys with you." – Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, June 3, 2017
This is an incredible insight I have tried, tested and
affirmed both in my own heart and in my experience in life, friendship, marriage,
parenting and ministry.
Without question, I have heard more
confessions of secret sorrow and struggle than I have heard of secret pleasures
and joys. It takes a degree of vulnerability to let someone else see your hidden
wounds, but it takes far greater transparency and trust to willfully guide
someone to your secret treasures. What you truly like and love most is more the
essence of who you are and would choose to be. So in keeping, it is often the
most difficult thing to say out loud, even to someone who knows us well.
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