spot the lie: FRIENDS edition‏

So Paige and I were watching FRIENDS the other night when this gem was dropped:

Chandler: I can’t believe I did this! What an idiot!
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There aren’t any messages you’ve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently you’re not very good at it! I…
Chandler: Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!Chandler: Y’know what? I-I kinda have.
Rachel: Already? That’s pretty bad what you did.

Did you spot the lie?

I know, I know. Which one, right?

Chandler is worried that the one he has wronged may not forgive him.

Rachel reassures Chandler that Joey will forgive him, but encourages Chandler to forgive himself. Because after all, that’s “the most important thing,” right?

FALSE!

It isn’t.

It’s not even possible.

Additionally, Rachel proposes that the One wronged is somehow less important in the equation than your own processing of the wrong you have committed.

Nothing could be more religious than making my sin against someone else about my disappointment with myself in making the situation about me and my struggle to live with what I’ve done.

Acts 2:22-23

²² “Men of Israel, hear these words: Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with mighty works and wonders and signs that God did through him in your midst, as you yourselves know—²³ this Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men.

Acts 3:14-15

¹⁴ But you denied the Holy and Righteous One, and asked for a murderer to be granted to you, ¹⁵ and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses.

Acts 5:30

The God of our fathers raised Jesus, whom you killed by hanging him on a tree.

Peter simply slays people for their sins. It is rightly said that our sins nailed Jesus to the cross. They did. Peter’s audience, however, may have included men who literally had the hammers in the hands in addition to those who had cheered, “Crucify Him!” only months earlier. These people killed Jesus. Literally. So what is Peter’s response?

“God will surely forgive you for this. The most important thing is that you forgive yourselves.”

NOPE!

Acts 2:37-38

³⁷ Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”³⁸ And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

You do not have the authority or jurisdiction to forgive yourself.

did we ever reach a conclusion on that whole "how many angels can fit on the head of a pin?" thing?

SO.MANY.QUESTIONS

Is this tissue as soft as an angel is soft?
Do we know that angels are, in fact, soft?

Or is this tissue as soft as angels prefer?

On a scale of  ZERO to ANGEL, how soft is this tissue?
Angelsoft, baby!

The product attempts to qualify the matter by stating it's "an ideal balance of Softness & STRENGTH."

How does that clarify things?

So does the "angel" part of "angelsoft" refer to how strong the tissue is?
If so, I was under the impression from before that they were soft.

If strength is what you're going for, I have better suggestions:

Oxsoft
Schwarzeneggersoft
Nailssoft

No, that clearly doesn't add up.

I think they were going for a double-dip akin to saying, "softsoft."

Because angels live on the tops of clouds and are the winged versions of our dead relatives, right?

Nice try Angelsoft!

Unless angels are, in fact, as strong as they are soft or as soft as they are strong, you've got yourself a dilemma.

spot the lie: katy perry's "firework" edition

Introducing a *NEW* segment to once|for|all|delivered called "spot the lie" where i review tv commercials, music, movies, magazines, etc... from pop culture.

While Team Van Voorst was travelling back from South Carolina, we heard Katy Perry's "Firework" on the radio and because of our affinity for dancing to it a la keenan cahill, we camped on it.

Do you ever feel already buried deep six feet under?
Scream but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?

Did you spot the lie?

Katy proposes:

You are awesome.
They just don't know it yet.
There is hope.
How does she know?
Because you've got a spark.

To sum u:
Look within when the outside world gets you down.
The problem is not with you, it's with them.

-----
The Bible proposes:

You are not awesome.
God alone is awesome.
Do not look within to find salvation and brilliance.
Look outside yourself to God.

You do have a problem.
It's solution cannot be found by looking within.

The world rejects the Gospel either through formal upright religion or informal pagan irreligion.

Irreligion looks inward to discover the ultimate barometer of truth and meaning.
Religion looks inward to achieve/appease the truth and meaning discovered by looking upward.

Both ultimately point inward.
Both are WRONG!

It is outward to Jesus alone we look to find BOTH truth/meaning AND access to it.