day no. 16,626: parenting for the perfecting of their saints

"Remember the word that the conqueror Caesar always used to his soldiers in a battle. He did not say 'Go forward,' but 'Come.' So it must be with you in training your children." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Parents must urge their children to join them in fighting the good fight. Children must do what mom and dad command and forsake what they forbid. Parents cannot in good conscience send their children into battles they are unwilling to fight. They must not, like David, send out the soldiers while they recline on the rooftop. Disaster soon pursues that course of inaction. Lack of ambition is aggressively courting destruction.

1 Corinthians 11:1

Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

Like Paul, parents must implore from out front, not send from somewhere else. Parents must already be going where they command their kids to go. Mom and dad must sometimes show the back of their heads to their children. They must often fix their eyes on the prize and lead the way. They must stop and tie shoelaces and wipe noses too, of course, but always from the superior position. We can tie their laces because we're not tripping over ours. We can wipe their behinds because we've got our crap together.

Philippians 4:9

Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Mom and dad must be at peace with God by grace through faith in Christ and obedience to Him alone and urge their children to copy them in their conviction and conduct so that they might be the same. A child should know Christ more for knowing his parents and if your son parrots your ways, it ought to produce an increasing likeness to Christ.

Ephesians 4:11-13

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ.

And He also gave parents for the perfecting of their saints (1 Cor. 7:4).

day no. 16,625: Penelope is 14!!!

Happy 14th Birthday, Penelope!!!

It is crazy to consider that you've been a teenager for a full year. It's not hard to believe when I consider all that you are capable of and your maturity, but it is crazy when I think about little Sissypants singing her little songs. It seems like only yesterday that you were a mermaid swimming to the deepest parts and breaking people's hearts. It's funny, 'cause now that you are older, you have no interest in swimming in the deep end, but hearts are soon to begin breaking when they realize they aren't up to snuff.

Where to begin with describing you? You are a tornado in shoes. You do a little of this and a lot of everything else. What don't you have going on?

It makes sense to begin with your stories, of course. You love to write and as you grow up, your stories are growing as well. You are learning how to describe a scene, develop dialogue, create a character arc, introduce tension, and how to resolve it. The Third Claw has been fun to read. Your writing ability is really taking off and that story in particular represents a significant shift in ability. I am excited to see how much more you have in the tank and where it's all headed.

Second only to stories is your songwriting and piano playing. You have really taken it upon yourself to develop your music reading skills as well as you song writing, singing, and playing. It is fun to hear you training your fingers on the piano as I work above you during the day. I can hear the familiar tunes through the wall and am impressed with your ability to teach yourself.

You are no longer a big girl, but a young lady. You clean the house for your mom, watch the little kids, do baths for the little girls, and bake things. You take on yourself a lot of grown up responsibilities. You do this so often that it is easy to overlook, but it is really quite impressive. You can do whatever you decide to do and we're all grateful that many times, it is something that your mother or I would have to have done. So, all that to say, THANK YOU!

It is so much fun hearing you tuck in Oey for nap. Since her bedroom is near the one from which I work each day, I can hear you and her reading little books and chatting before nap. It is adorable. She loves you and looks up to you. I hope she grows up to be like you.

You are always doing shows for your little sisters and creating characters to inhabit all of the worlds you have imagined. You have kept your childlike wonder while growing into a young lady. Your Chestertonian instincts are on point. You know how to live in the world without being of it and how to imagine other worlds without getting completely caught up into them.

When you are into something, you are really into it. You have the ability to completely engage in whatever imaginative experience you are interacting with. When you play piano, you are immune to everything else. When you are in Manga-Anime-Chibi, you are oblivious to anywhere else. You enjoy story grip and are growing in your ability to produce that same hold on others through your piano playing, song singing and writing, poetry, and story telling.

 

You are a voracious reader. The question is what haven't you read?

You have recently taken to creating meme ideas for me. It all began with your Spartan "Come and Take Them" idea a few months back and ever since it's become a thing. It's fun creating and publishing them so that you can see them come to life on the big screen during watch time in the evening.

You are still best buds with Lydia. What a grace of God in providing you with such a bosom friend. You are like Anne and Diana or Heidi and Clara. You go together like peas and carrots. It is fun watching you love your friends and be loved by them.

I am so proud of you, Penelope. You are a beautiful, smart, funny young lady and I watch you watching your mom and taking your ques from her. You love your sisters and your brothers and love your God. You have a good reputation before God and man and you are growing in wisdom, stature, and favor with both daily.

I cannot wait to see what 14 has in store for you. You are a blessing to us all. We love you.

Happy Birthday, Nen.

Love, 

Dad

day no. 16,624: lust conceived ought to be killed

"And do not be afraid, above all, that such a plan of training will make your child unhappy. I warn you against this delusion. Depend on it, there is no surer road to unhappiness than always having our own way. To have our wills checked and denied is a blessed thing for us; it makes us value enjoyments when they come. To be indulged perpetually is the way to be made selfish; and selfish people and spoiled children, believe me, are seldom happy. Reader, do not be wiser than God; — train your children as He trains His." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Spoiled children are like spoiled milk; they stink. Getting your way without exception is a great way to go bad.

"If you do not take trouble with your children when they are young, they will give you trouble when they are old. Choose which you prefer." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

There will be trouble. Either give it to them artificially when they are young or receive experientially from them when they are older. Either introduce trouble for sin with correction or invite trouble from sin in its maturation.

James 1:15

Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

Sin is the only thing a Christian should ever abort. Lust conceived should be killed. If it is not kiboshed in kids, it will grow up into a killer.

"Learn to say 'No' to your children. Show those who you are able to refuse whatever you think is not fit for them. Show those who you are ready to punish disobedience, and that when you speak of punishment, you are not only ready to threaten, but also to perform. Do not threaten too much. Threatened folks, and threatened faults, live long. Punish seldom, but really and in good earnest,—frequent and slight punishment is a wretched system indeed." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

If they have to ask, the answer can be, "No." If the answer cannot be, "No!" it is not a request, it is a command. And parents do not answer to their children. They will, however, answer for them. The child who has not heard "No" enough will be a nightmare and his haunted parents will have to give an account for him.

day no. 16,623: where excuses fail, Christ does not

"Try to keep this continually before your children's minds. Press upon them at all times, that less than the truth is a lie; that evasion, excuse-making, and exaggeration are all halfway houses towards what is false, and ought to be avoided. Encourage them in any circumstances to be straightforward, and, whatever it may cost them, to speak the truth." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

The truth will set you free. Evasive language is an attempt to free yourself from the consequences of truth. But the only thing that can save you from the truth is the Truth. The only way to the Father is the Way. The only life to be had is in the Life of God. Excuses do not atone for sin. (John 14:6).

Sin is inexcusable, but by the grace of God is not unforgivable. If an excuse will suffice, forgiveness is not needed. But where excuses fail, Christ does not. Exaggerations cannot increase your merit. An embellishment only increases the distance between you and righteousness. You cannot exaggerate your way across the chasm of sin. Only Christ can cross the cavern and provide a bridge between sinful man and an holy God. 

The problem with lies is not that they try to cover up sin, but that they cannot adequately cover it. In other words, it isn't that lies cover sin, it's that they don't. Sin must be covered, but lies cannot do the trick. An ol' fashioned cover-up cannot keep sin under wraps. Only Christ can cover sin. Your sins do need covering. The impulse to hide them is correct, but the instinct to hide them somewhere else is not. It not only fails to cover sin, it creates another sin in need of forgiveness.

By the grace of God, all sins can be forgiven, including the sin of covering your sins somewhere other than Jesus. Confess it as sin and it will be forgiven in Him. You can only hide in Him. Nowhere else are your sins hidden. In Him, God sees only Christ and your sins are completely covered by His blood. So stop trying to hide your sins from God and man and start hiding yourself in God so that you are free to speak of your sins openly, uncondemned before God and man.

day no. 16,622: obedience is faith incarnate

"Obedience is faith incarnate. It is the test of real discipleship among the Lord's people. 'You are My friends if you do whatever I command you' (John xv. 14). It ought to be the mark of well-trained children, that they do whatever their parents command them. Where, in deed, is the honor which the fifth commandment enjoins, if fathers and mothers are not obeyed cheerfully, willingly, and at once?" — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Obedience is faith incarnate. We do what we believe. Children ought to obey their parents. Parents ought to be believable. Husband and wife must be united in faith and faithfulness so that their children are not forced to say, "Which one?" when commanded to honor their father and mother. Obedience is hard enough without making it impossible. If mom and dad demand different things, children are left incapable of obeying God's command,

We are saved by grace through faith in Christ alone, not by works, lest we should boast and true faith is manifest in increasing faithfulness to Christ's commands. Paul's manifesto on faith alone is book-ended by this desire:

Romans 1:5

We have received grace and apostleship, for obedience to the faith among all nations, for his name.

Romans 16:25-26

Now to him that is of power to stablish you according to my gospel, and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery, which was kept secret since the world began, but now is made manifest, and by the scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the everlasting God, made known to all nations for the obedience of faith.

The faith once for all delivered to the saints is to be obeyed. The Bible makes no bones about it. We are to teach our children to obey us because our Father commands this of us, respectively. We are commanded to teach them. We are commanded to teach them to teach their children the same. They are commanded to obey us and will one day be expected to obey God in asking their children to obey them.

"Early obedience has all Scripture on its side. It is in Abraham's praise, not merely he will train his family, but 'he will command his children, and his household after him' (Gen. xviii. 19)." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Abraham trained the men of household for war (Gen. 14:14) and commanded his children to be the kind of men who would someday do the same. Abraham is our father in the faith and we ought to listen to him. God commanded him to command his children to obey him. This was not merely him training them to obey him, but training them to obey his God.

day no. 16,621: give 'em Watts, boys!

Lord, crush the serpent in the dust,

And all his plots destroy;

While those that in thy mercy trust,

For ever shout for joy.

The men that love and fear thy name

Shall see their hopes fulfilled;

The mighty God will compass them

With favor as a shield.

— Isaac Watts, Psalm 5: Lord, in the Morning Thou Shalt Hear

Christians are a race of giant-slaying dragon-stampers. Our Chief and Lord only bruised His heel in order to smash the Heel of all history. If we are to follow the footsteps of Christ, we ought to look for the blood. If we are to walk in His ways, we must prepare our feet for battle. Strongholds must come down. Thoughts must be taken captive. We walk behind the serpent-smasher who has shown us the way.

Isaac Watts made munitions out of music. He waged war with his words. His hymns call the flock to the fight. In fact, the story goes that his songs went so far as aid the colonial shooters in the American War for Independence. James Caldwell needed more wadding for the Americans during the battle, but the only paper he could find to cram around their musket balls was in hymnals loaded with the songs of Isaac Watts. When he arrived back on the field of battle, hymnals in hands, he reportedly yelled, “Give ‘em Watts, boys!”

day no.16.620: education is...

"Grace is the strongest of all principles... Nature, too, is very strong. But after nature and grace, undoubtedly, there is nothing more powerful than education. Early habits (if I may so speak) are everything with us, under God. We are made what we are by training. Our character takes the form of that mold into which our first years are cast." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Few forces are more formative than the family into which you were born. The culture of that clan imposes itself upon its citizens. Education is an eschatology. It presupposes a place and takes the initiative to lead there. Training assumes a destination and works the clay into a particular shape.

Ryle goes on to quote Cecil, "He has seen but little of life who does not discern everywhere the effect of education on men's opinions and habits of thinking. The children bring out of the nursery that which displays itself throughout their lives."

We are what we read. All opinions are borrowed. All habits are hereditary. Education is an act of war. It sets the mind up for some things by setting it against other. It is enmity enfleshed. It identifies the targets and the tactics.

"We depend, in a vast measure, on those who bring us up. We get from them a color, a taste, a bias which cling to us more or less all our lives. We catch the language of our nurses and mothers, and learn to speak it almost insensibly, and unquestionably we catch something of their manners, ways, and mind at the same time." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

We grow up breathing in the atmosphere of our homes before we know what to call it. In other words, we breath in oxygen before we learn the word "oxygen." We are caught up in a culture before we are taught the particulars of that culture. We learn to love the taste before we understand the ingredients. We ask our mothers for the recipe. She eagerly shows us the index card.

"A very learned Englishman, Mr. Locke, has gone so far as to say: 'That of all the men we meet with, nine parts out of ten are what they are, good or bad, useful or not, according to their education.'" — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Education is people farming. It is intellectual husbandry. It feeds the imagination and the mind. It aims to marry ideas and to propagate the best ones. It is fruitful and it multiplies. This is why a Christian education commanded by Christ and essential for every Christian child (Eph. 6:4). Children will be nourished and admonished to some end. If not for Christ, then to something less. Christians cannot forfeit the God-given window of influence they have been given. Along with the gift of the child, God gives the responsibility to raise that child. It comes in the package like scoop that comes inside the laundry detergent. Each box comes with its own scoop just as each child with his or her own obligation.

"And all this is one of God's merciful arrangements. He gives your children a mind that will receive impressions like moist clay. He gives them a disposition at the starting-point of life to believe what you tell them, and to take for granted what you advise them, and to trust your word rather than a stranger's. He gives you, in short, a golden opportunity of doing them good. See that the opportunity do not be neglected, and thrown away. Once let slip, it is gone forever. Beware of that miserable delusion into which some have fallen — that parents can do nothing for their children, that you must leave them alone, wait for grace, and sit still... the devil rejoices to see such reasoning, just as he always does over anything which seems to excuse indolence, or to encourage neglect of means." — J.C. Ryle, The Duties of Parents

Salvation is by grace through faith in Christ alone, but the the Word of Christ comes to us by the obedience of someone else. Someone's blessed feet share the Good News. Someone else is sent to declare to us the glories of God and the goodness of His mercy. For children, these people are their parents. Of course, a parent cannot save their child per se, but they are most assuredly the means by which God intends to save their children. Do not miss the window God has given to you by insisting that grace requires your negligence. Do not throw up your hands and say, "But what can I do?" rather, throw your hands in to the work of making disciples of your children by teaching them all that Jesus has commanded of them by first doing what He has commanded of you, their parent, in teaching them.