day no. 17.126: a kind of nice that is not kind

“But evangelicals—babes in the woods when it comes to this kind of thing—have confused the biblical requirement to not be mean with the impossible requirement to never be accused by liars of being mean. Once you accept the latter as your standard, you can always be steered, no matter how nice you are.” — Douglas Wilson, Virgins and Volcanoes

God commands His people to be kind, not nice. Niceness is not a Biblical standard. Kindness is. This may seem like splitting hairs or merely playing games with words, but this is not simply getting sassy about semantics. One might say "nice or kind, it's all the same thing." And, I must confess, in some situations or circumstances it probably is. Ok, so why all the fuss then. The fuss is for those times when it's not the same thing, which are becoming more frequent. Being kind and being nice do not have to be distinct per se. But the kind of nice that defines kindness as never making anyone upset, is not Biblical (and it is not kind.). The kind of nice that would twist the truth in order to avoid twisting up someone's panties is not kind. It is the kiss of an enemy instead of the kind kick in the pants from a friend.

"What is the solution to all this? The solution is the divine gift of not caring what they think. But of course, not caring at all is apathy, and that is also a sin. Caring is another inescapable concept—not whether, but which. It is not whether your conduct will be approved, but rather which group will approve it. It is not whether you care if your conduct is approved, it is rather which group’s approval you care about." — Douglas Wilson, Real Offense and Not So Much

We must care about what Christ thinks and we must be kind according to His standard. Beyond that, we must not conform our words or behavior to the dictionaries and decorum of liars.