Genesis 49:28
All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them when he blessed them. He blessed them, every one with the blessing appropriate to him.
It is a father's duty to know his children. It is his privilege to give them their names, to declare who they are, and to call them out to become more of what God made them to be. This will require discernment in seeing what is appropriate to each child. Every son or daughter is different while having the same father. Come what may they have that in common even when they have something else in conflict.
Fathers have been given the privilege of telling their children who they are. They get to make declarations. That is what gives birth to father hunger. That is why we so often see the common theme of clamoring for paternal approval. That is also why it is less frequently given. Too many fathers forsake their office or abuse it. They either withhold praise for the sake of power or they withdraw themselves for the sake of indifference. Too many dads declare something by saying nothing. Their physical absence or the absence of their words speaks volumes into the hearts of their children. Their silence is always loud. Their absence is always present.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
So, a father must cater the character development correction and discipline to the chemistry of the child involved, but he must also adjust it to the specific situation. There are blessings appropriate for some that would be curses to others and vice versa due to proportion or station. A cute girl is a blessing to a man prepared for marriage and a snare to one not ready, for example. There is also advice appropriate to one occasion that would be inappropriate to another. All that to say, a father must know his children and their situation in order to give blessed advice. It is his job to know them and their circumstances.
A good word poorly applied can be a kick in the gut instead of a kick in the butt. The right word applied well can draw out the best in another while one wrongly applied can discourage or dampen the right spirit. Words should be said according to the need. They should match the situation. If the words are being drawn from a principle, they should be seasoned to the situation, not merely poured out in the abstract.
Proverbs 27:23
Know well the condition of your flocks,
And pay attention to your herds.
A father must know his children and he must know their condition. He discerns this by paying attention to them and relying on God's Word. His time in the Bible gives him principles to be applied to all sorts of men in all sorts of scenarios. His time with his children gives him practical insights in which verses apply to which of his children in which of their situations.
Quantity time produces quality time.
Lots of time in the Word gives you a treasury of wisdom from which to draw.
Lots of time with your kids gives you a treasury of insight into their person.
Spend a lot of time in the Bible and a lot of time with your kids and you will have plenty of quality times with both. There will be good conversations filled with good words that fully match the kid and their condition.
Don't be caught off guard not knowing the Word or your wards. If they come to you for wisdom, have a pantry well-supplied from which to nourish them. Don't be wanting to advise them without counsel to give them. Don't wait to know them until you need to know them. Do not wait for them to wander off before you take an interest in keeping them close by.
Know the Word.
Know your wards.
Malachi 4:5-6
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
When and where dads are back, we're on track.
When you see fathers returning to the fray, you see sons less tempted to stray. Civilizations are built by men with families to feed taking that responsibility to heart and providing discipline and instruction, teaching, and nourishment to their children in the form of good, God-informed advice that fits the kid and the current condition.
1 Chronicles 12:32
And of the children of Issachar, which were men that had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them were two hundred; and all their brethren were at their commandment.
Dads needs eyes in their heads and on their kids. They need to know what's going on and what to do about it. They need to have their head on a swivel and their hearts anchored in the sword of the Word. In order to command well, a father must know the eternal Word and the current state of the world. He must study his Bible and his brood.
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