“SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others” — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary
Selfish people are not sufficiently attentive to the selfishness of others.
Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
In order to count others more significant than yourself, you must first consider what their selfishness would count as significant and then make sure that you don't forget to take that into account.
Ephesians 5:28-29
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.
A good husband is one who takes an interest in his wife's interests. He thinks about what he selfishly would desire and then seeks to provide that for his spouse. Unselfishness is not the opposite of selfishness, it is being selfish for selves other than just your own. It is knowing how to prioritize the priorities of others. It is taking an interest in someone else's interests. It is remembering what others never forget and keeping in mind what others cannot keep off theirs.
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