“Go in obedience and you will find love. You will have no more dreams. Have children instead." — C.S. Lewis, That Hideous Strength
Jane was plagued by the idea of belonging. She had long been wary of being at anyone else's mercy. Her greatest fear was being obligated to someone else. She had married for loveliness, not love. She had said, "I do" to Mark as a toddler being helped with their shoes, which is to say, reluctantly. She wanted to be self-possessed and instead was possessed by abilities she did not beg for. The very thing she feared came upon her and in the end, she discovered that belonging to someone else was better than belonging only to herself.
1 Timothy 2:13-15
For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.
Love is not found in utter independence, but in covenantal dependence. Covenant assumes individual duties with cooperative ends -- a win for you is a win for me. Covenant makes your strengths my comforts and my strengths yours. Covenant means my weaknesses are forgiven as I forgive yours.
Love is not found in retaining personal dreams, but in fulfilling the dreams of others. Love is not finally getting what you want per se, but in finally giving what another needs and finding it's what you wanted to do.
Men must abandon boyish hobbies and embrace bringing up their boys. Men must reject the inheritance of secular individuality and accept the inheritance of Christian responsibility. Men must be strong enough to strike down their best life now for their grandchildren's best lives later.
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