and i would do anything for love, but i won't do that‏

I was listening to Chelsea Moon and Uncle Daddy’s version of When I Survey when my mind latched onto the following lyrics:

Were the whole realm of nature mine,

that were an offering far too small;
love so amazing, so divine,
demands my soul, my life, my all.

My thoughts gravitated toward how often I heard words or sentiments of similar vein and responded by feeling guilty for not having given or done more. Lyrics like this pricked at my conscience. But I fended them off by trying harder or doing more for a short season.

I was a sprinter.
Not a marathoner.

I liked to periodically and very intermittently run very quickly for a short distance and then give up entirely. Not even walking. Just collapsing and playing wherever I was.

When people hear that God demands our soul, our lives, our everything, I think they too often do what I used to do and assume that means that we simply have to devote ourselves towards doing more. While a robust, legit Christian life will certainly overflow in fruit and good works, it is wrong to imply that these can spring forth from anything other than a spirit converted by a will surrendered.

We will do anything other than give up our will. We will go to great lengths to avoid giving up control. Don’t tell me what I can’t do! And don’t tell me what I must do either!

I will commit to serve and to give and to live a certain way as long as it is me deciding the who, what, when, where, why, and how's of my service, giving, and living. I will work in the nursery at church, just don’t make me give up my right to self-govern.

We often use our good works to guard us from giving up control.

We do not in earnest ask God, “What do You want from me?” with any sense of comfort since our suspicions will likely be confirmed in our estimation.

He desires to be God and to make much of Himself.

Q: But how can I fit into that?
A: By surrendering my life and will to Him as an instrument to bring Him praise.

But I don’t want to do that.

So I give God what I want to give Him.

God does not need our service.
God does not need our gifts.
God does not need our lives.

He is not served by human hands.

He owns everything.
He alone has life

For now, you have a life.

To whom will you give it?

On what will you spend it?
For whom will you use it?

What keeps you from surrendering ALL your will and control to God?

What are you holding back?
Why are you holding it back?
What are you waiting for?

The last battle is not in the mind or in the heart.

It is in your will.