day no. 12,951: stick a fork in the road in me, am i done?

(this is a preemptive P.S. stating that this was written a few weeks back when I was feeling particularly worn out.  God has since refreshed my heart and head.  That isn't to say that ministry isn't still difficult, but to say that God provided some encouragement from His children for me that persevered me through this period of exhaustion. I don't know if anyone can compete with horses.  But with God's help and by His grace, He strengthens us to keep running with whomever and whatever He brings onto our race track)

Jeremiah 12:5

If you have raced with runners
and they have worn you out,
how can you compete with horses?
If you stumble in a peaceful land,
what will you do in the thickets of the Jordan?

 

The answer is rhetorical: you can’t.

 

If you can’t keep up with people, you won’t keep up with horses.

 

If you can’t walk well on flat land, you will not walk well when the road gets bumpy.

 

Jeremiah was grouchy that life and ministry were not turning out the way he had hoped they would.

 

I can relate to Jeremiah.

 

In contrast to Jeremiah, however, my disappointment is not with God or the people around me: it is with me.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I do get frustrated with people when they prove more difficult than I had hoped, but I am more disappointed with how incapable and unqualified I often feel in addressing the mess of ministry.

 

I am left wondering.

 

Am I tired because I am not meant to compete with horses?

 

OR

 

Am I tired because I am training to compete with horses?