day no. 17,369: black coffee Christianity

“The people always have an earnest desire to have a messenger who is willing to prophesy smooth things for them (Is. 30:10). ‘Prophesy deceits unto us’—they want deceits, boy, and they want them layered on thick. They want to heap up teachers who will stroke their felt needs (2 Tim. 4:3). If a man of wind comes prophesying wine and beer, he would be just the right spokesman for this people (Mich. 2:11). They want prophets who will speak to them in terms of affirming and melted butterscotch. They want pumpkin spice sermons.” — Douglas Wilson, No Such Thing As Bad Words

Everybody wants a sauce. They may vary on what kind of sauce they like, but they all agree that some kind of sauce is needed. Whether it is steak sauce, ranch, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, sriracha, etc... everybody has something they put on the food to flavor it to their liking. 

Christianity does not require any sauce. In fact, in most cases, it actually prohibits the use of most sauces. No adjectives are needed. You don't need progressive Christianity or trad Christianity. You just need Christ. In most cases, the sauce is meant to cover the flavor of something you don't like, not to enhance the flavor of something already present. We like pumpkin spice sermons because they are easier to stomach than black coffee Christianity.